Happy Flag Day

So today is a holiday...FLAG DAY! And as a reminder (which I'm sure you all have forgotten and become complacent), there is still a REVOLUTION going on. Viva la Frida! And of course, the revolution will not be televised--it'll be blogged. And since it is Flag Day, here is a pic of the new flag I've designed to stir everyone to blind patriotism.

Many have asked: "Frida, what is the best way to celebrate Flag Day?" I am here to serve you with the answers to your burning questions with Dear Abby flair and style. Here, now, is a list of potential Flag Day activities for all good Patriots:

1. Wire-tap the phone of someone you love and then turn over the details of their internet browsing activities to the government for "processing."
2. Torture your brothers and sisters. (Extra Patriot points for "waterboarding"!)
3. Drive aimlessly in your brand new Hummer so that you waste precious resources and destroy the environment...wait a minute, "the environment" is just some concocted liberal fiction from a hollywood movie called "An Inconvenient Truth" by some cry-baby election loser!
4. Go down to your local park on a nice sunny day and play a game called "Keep Away" as in, "Keep Marriage Away from the Gay People." It's like cooties; your marriage will crumble in divorce if they get anywhere near it. Way more dangerous than those FAKE scares like avian flu.
5. Invade a country, destroy its infrastructure, destablize its economy, kill its civilians and then blame it on the "insurgents" for the mess! Make sure you bring your flag though so the people know who the liberators are!!
6. Sing the national anthem...but in English gaddam it! And only on your 10 minute break from picking in the fields.
7. Give some no-bid contracts to your friends to boost their millions and then make sure to remind them to take advantage of their tax cuts so they don't lose out! Moral of the story: Always be a friend.
8. Shoot your friend in the face when he does that stupid quail impression. Moral of the story: Help your friends help themselves.
9. Leak the name of a top secret operative to the press and then play the "indictment" game!
10. Blow off your hand with a poorly lit bottle rocket and/or other firework of your choice.

Oh, I could go on, but really, I'm sure you have your own Flag Day traditions...
Viva America! Viva la Frida!