How I am Weird

Mags, from You forgot Poland!, tagged me with this question to answer here on my blog, about “How I am Weird.” Well here is my list:

1. Nature is my personal bathroom. How many of you have pooped outside with everyone looking? (and if you anwered yes to that, you BETTER have been on a camping trip) My Dad Eric generally does not walk me on busy streets for two very important reasons: first, he feels I should have a modicum of privacy “in the loo” and second, he figures people in cars going by while he is picking up my business are thinking the same thing, “you poor, poor bastard with a plastic bagful of shit.”

2. I have what some have referred to as a “cow belly.” This consists of a very pink, healthy hued skin that is relatively furless and has black and brown spotty patches, sort of like, well…a cow. (no udders, but plenty of nipples)

3. I run at top speed for no apparent reason at all. Give me a large area and I will rival a cheetah with how fast I can go. Of course when I decide to stop, I pant like crazy and need TONS of water…which brings me to another oddity. I refuse to drink water at moments like this if I am directed to the waterbowl by anyone. I only drink on my own terms, preferably when no ones looking. Unless I am deathly thirsty!

4. Getting back to the pooping theme (and I promise this will be the last), I once attempted to eat out of a cat’s litter box. I was caught red-handed (or a better cliche would be "with a shit-eating grin") and I had litter all in my eyes and around my mouth. Busted. I know it’s a gross habit, but mmmm, tasty! (I could also tell you about how I love to roll in bunny shit which then gets me a quick trip to an oatmeal bath (which I hate)...but enough about this crap)

5. I once had fleas, and was ashamed to admit it and ask for help. Fortunately my Dad Eric picked up on the scratching and irritated skin. They had even advantixed me earlier in the month but it must have worn off and the vet said fleas are “bad this year.” I don’t feel so bad about being in the closet about my previous infestation because Dad Mike always denies it too. But I am happy to report I am flea-free today, my 20th day.

6. Oh, and lastly, Shirley McLaine told me that in my previous life I hung out with Andy Warhol and Liza Minnelli at Studio 54.