I'm Being Swift-Boated!!

Ever since I announced my revolution, there have been people who want to undermine my legitimacy! Here's an example...I've never even met John Kerry or Jane Fonda, and yet this photo has surfaced by a group called "Swift Dogs Sniff for the Truth" that shows me on John Kerry's lap. I'm so outraged at these lies, but first I must nap to get the strength to fend off my attackers. I will be issuing a statement soon.