Senate Hearings

Now dogs have excelling hearing...you know how keenly developed our senses are. Which must be why I was asked to be a part of the Senate hearings on the President's "Warantless Wiretapping." Oh wait, I forgot to use the official name of the program: "Project Loss of Liberty Through Enduring Freedom Via American Non-Terrorist Surveillance Program.” Wait, that’s not it either. I can’t remember it exactly. But it has something to do with listening to phone conversations. Alberto Gonzales testified and said that many other presidents did this, like Washington, Roosevelt, Lincoln. I think he forgot to mention one that was really good at it: Nixon. He really knew how to use presidential authority. Anyway, when it was my time to testify, Senator Specter (yay for PA! He’s MY senator…) asked if I had any recommendations for the committee. I said that polls show that Americans think that the President broke the law and they don’t want him on their phone any more than the telemarketers we have been trying to block with the national do not call list. But if he really wants to drum up support for this illegal program and get Americans to rally behind it, he should print up a boatload of those little ribbon magnets to put on our SUVs that say “Support the Wiretapping!” That ought to work. People eat that up! (And as a bonus, since we’re headed that way, he could implant a chip in them which could monitor our every trip to the store. Bonus!)